whatiwantwillalwaysstaythesame.

ooc; This is MATURE. Do not read if you are squeamish [o_O] about sex scenes or if you have the attention span of a grape...It's a rather long drabble. Also realise that this is my first attempt at something like this, so I apologize if it's not accurate or it, well, sucks. ._. I have skipped a few parts out, mainly because I don't feel entirely comfortable writing them or because I just don't know how to write them without making it ruin that type of mood being set. o_OExcuse any soppiness. ¬_¬

There she was. Sitting alone in the dark, her skin illuminated by the moonlight brushing in through the window, a gentle breeze stroking against the glass that was the only thing that stood to protect her from the cold of Winter. Her eyes were set upon the closed door that stood mere feet away from her, watching and waiting as if it would miraculously come to life, the painted wood just suddenly moving from its hinges. But, no. She was waiting for someone to arrive from /behind/ that door, to greet her in the room that was not her own. The female may not have belonged in that dorm of Saint Delacroix, but she had frequented there, visiting, on occasions, a boy that had been the object of her affections for so many months now. Damien Alexander, the fifth year that had captured her heart almost from the moment that she met him.

That time felt so long ago, when they had stood in the kitchens, making those sweet little pancakes that was now one of her favourite memories. It had been that morning that she had first met him, that morning that she had first been allowed in, allowed to view the male in a light that most others hadn‘t been privileged to see. Since then, they had spent so much time together, their feelings deepening and growing as time grew on. They had endured sad times and enjoyed happy times, suffered tears and strain but fought through with a love that couldn’t so easily perish. The pair had been through a lot, and had made it past the days of hurt and were now able to just.. cherish their moments together.

As the girl sat upon Damien’s bed, her heart pounded furiously against her chest, panic and worry being an obvious emotion flitting about in her mind. What was she doing? What if it was a mistake? Oh god. Skye was rooted to the spot on that soft mattress of his, her fingertips clasping hold of the duvet beneath her. She really had no idea what had drawn her to do this, to actually be settled there, waiting for Damien to arrive which he shortly would. Oh, what if he didn’t want this yet?

What was really making her panic so? What was it that was causing her nerves to suddenly be so strong? It was the prospect of what could happen that evening.. or what couldn’t, more to the point. The girl’s gaze briefly flitted over to look outside at that moon that seemed to be hanging so low in the sky, the clouds closing in around the orb’s edges but unable to block out that small amount of light. The small amount of light that was stroking against her near-bare back, slightly shadowing the curves of her breasts that were only being held in a black-lace bra, one much like the one that she had worn that day so many weeks ago at the beginning of October. Over her long, slender legs, she wore thin, black stockings that ended with a lace finish about mid-way up her thigh. Just above her underwear, there rested a thick band of material that held against her hips, small attachments leading down to clip onto the rims of those thigh-length tights.

That was why she was nervous. That was why her heart was pounding so strongly in her chest. She was waiting for him.. and offering herself to him for the first time. Skye just didn’t know what to expect, whether he would accept the situation or choose to discard it. He could just walk away from her, thinking her stupid to even think such a thing was going to happen between them. Oh, so many outcomes were rushing through her mind, pumping worries and doubts continually through her bloodstream.

It hadn’t been too long ago that they had actually discussed the matter, spoken about whether they would be able to take their relationship to the next step as it were. Oh, that conversation had been priceless. So many nervous laughs and deep red blushes had been exchanged between the pair, it was almost like were a couple of eleven year olds that were just learning about the whole story of ‘where babies come from’. But, it had been that conversation that had led her to be where she was now. Resting upon his bed in, practically, the same outfit that had led their relationship to develop from friendship. But that conversation hadn’t been the most.. conclusive. It seemed that both had merely dropped hints about what they really wanted, and how much they wanted this to happen.

That was probably what was fuelling a lot more of Skye’s nerves about the evening, more so than the idea of, well, having sex. She didn’t entirely know what he wanted or whether he had meant that this is where he thought their relationship was leading in the near future. He could have meant something completely different and she was oblivious to the fact that he just didn’t want that from her.
Oh god, what was she going to do?

Before her mind could really develop any more on this question, her gaze was drawn back to the door as the handle started to rattle slightly, signalling that someone was trying to get into the dorm. And that someone was Damien. The male slowly entered the blackened room with his eyes downcast to the ground, his initial entrance not leading him to look around at the containments of those four walls. One hand was resting in the pocket of his black work slacks whilst the other remained resting upon the door handle as he slowly moved to close it.

But, before that soft click was heard, Damien’s gaze rose to rest upon the form of his girlfriend, basking in the moonlight as she sat upon the bed. /His/ bed. Her expression, as he could tell, was a nervous one as she slowly stood herself up, the fingers of her hands fiddling with each other in front of her torso. Butterflies were tossing and turning in her stomach, causing an almost sickly feeling to settle itself within her. How on earth was he going to react?

To be honest, Damien truly hadn’t expected to come back up to the school from a work shift to this. And he showed this as his eyes widened a fraction, those pale hues of his darkening slightly before they drifted over her form. His own heart had started pounding upon the sight, even though it had, once more, fallen into that light feeling that Skye’s presence gave him. There had only been one time before that he had seen her like this and that had been one of the most embarrassing but amazing days of his life, and seeing it twice made no difference to the impact that it made upon him.

Slowly, the male shut the door behind him and took a few steps over towards her, much as she did with him until they met in the middle of the room. Though there was barely enough light in the room to see, he was able to see that small fluster that was gracing her cheeks and was sure that his own cheeks were starting to redden, though that didn’t really matter now. There they were, together, standing mere inches away from one another with their eyes locked [though Damien’s couldn’t help but wander that little bit more].

“You look..” He paused for a moment, attempting to think of the perfect way to describe it, but his mind failed him. There was nothing that could explain how beautiful she was to him, not only in appearance but her personality, as well. Her whole self was just too incredible for words. “I can’t describe how amazing you look.” A lop-sided smile slowly formed upon his lips as Skye’s gaze fell to the ground, a gentle laugh escaping her lips whilst that compliment caused her blush to deepen a shade. Those vivid blue eyes soon drifted back up to the male’s, her hand also rising from her side to rest against his torso before fiddling with the tip of his work tie.
“And you’re not looking too bad yourself..” Her voice was gentle, that nervous ring barely present as her fingertips stroked over the silk material, glad to hear a small chuckle come from the fifth year.

Skye was certainly feeling more comfortable, even though it was still a rather daunting moment for both of them. She wanted to tell him that he didn’t have to do anything with her if he still didn’t feel entirely certain about it, she’d understand. He had lived with the fear of contact with other people for so long and he was then, just suddenly, able to be with her in a way that he probably wouldn’t have really considered before. The girl didn’t want him to suddenly feel pressured into delivering something into their relationship just because they had been dating for a few months now. She didn’t have the right to just turn up on his door step and expect him to sleep with her. No, he shouldn’t feel pushed into doing something.

“Damien, I-” Her words were interrupted, though. Her thoughts were stopped, as well, as she felt the boy’s soft lips press to her own, his fingers lightly tracing over her cheek and then through her hair. The pair held that kiss for several moments, Skye’s hands slipping to rest upon his torso whilst his free hand trailed down to her hip. As their lips parted, their foreheads rested against each other, their eyes once more locked.
“I love you so much, Skye Sanders,” Damien whispered gently to her, so quietly that he was unsure if she could hear it over the pounding of his heart. It took mere seconds for the girl’s response to come, her smile-curved lips forming four simple words. “I love you, too.”

It took only brief moments for Skye’s lips to once more be pressed against Damien’s, their kiss a passionate one as the girl’s arms went to wrap around his neck, his own wrapping around her bare waist, holding her strongly against him. He could feel the material of her bra pressing through his thin shirt, feeling her pushing so comfortably against him as their kiss continued, their lips feverishly attacking the other’s. The nerves that they had previously felt seemed to have vanished, now replaced with an excitement for the situation and a deep desire that they both shared.

Slowly, the girl’s arms slid from around his neck, her fingers once more fiddling with that tie of his, loosening it further until she was able to slip it from beneath his collar, allowing it to simply fall to the floor beside them. His own hands continued to rest at her hips, holding her body close to his as their lips remained pressed lightly together, eyes closed. Damien’s tongue slowly slid over her lower lip before being allowed to enter her mouth, the pair’s muscles stroking against one another whilst Skye’s fingertips started to blindly undo the buttons of his shirt.

Neither really knew what to expect, though their nerves were now deeply buried somewhere beneath that burning desire they both held. It was the first time that either of them had done this and, really, they were just allowing whatever happened to, just, happen. They didn’t have any real experience to go by, no previous practices that could guide them. It was just them, on there own, allowing their instinct to lead them further in their actions.

As the white material of his shirt fell to the floor, their legs slowly carried them towards the bed. Skye’s fingers dug partially into the front of his trousers, her thumbs holding against the hem to draw his body closer to her own, already able to feel that slight arousal that the boy held. Damien’s own hands were stroking delicately over her back, brushing over her shoulder blades and beneath the material of her bra where the clasp held it in place. His breathing grew heavier whilst their kiss briefly parted, his lips trailing along her jaw line and down to her neck. Skye’s head tilted more to one side to expose more of her neck to him, able to feel that warm breath stroking over her skin.

A soft murmur past the girl's lips, a gentle whisper to his ear before the back of her leg touched against the mattress of his bed, their movement ceasing as Skye slowly fell back to sit on upon the duvet. Damien remained standing, his glazed eyes gazing down upon the girl before him, his chest rising and falling steadily with the excitement burning inside of him. She leant forwards slightly, pressing a gentle kiss to his lower torso as her fingers started to unbutton his trousers. Her motions were slow, her knuckles lightly pressing inwards before tugging down until the male was merely standing there in his boxers. It was then that he leant down, capturing her lips in his own, his body pressing her further down against the bed. Now both were lying down.

---

It was almost a surreal feeling as their bodies moved gradually together, Damien hovering just above Skye with his lips gently kissing over her neck and collarbone. Her fingers laced through his hair, able to feel the sweat that now covered both of them also residing amongst the strands. Their breathing was quick, almost in unison to the beat of their bodies' actions, with soft murmurs frequenting past their lips.

His kisses trailed back over her jawline until his gaze met hers, his crystal eyes noting that look of discomfort of her features though those vivid blue hues continued to look up at him lovingly.
"You okay?" His voice was more like a pant, his body not ceasing its desired movements as he spoke. The reply he got, at first, was a mere nod, her eyes closing as she intook a deep breath.
"I'm fine..." she breathed, her eyelids flickering back open before closing once more as Damien's lips locked with hers in one of their many passionate kisses.

Finally, their bodies slowly came to a stop, their breathing strong and quick. Skye's bare chest now pressed against Damien's after allowing himself to relax against her, his forearms supporting his weight above her. He lightly nuzzled the side of his nose against hers, a small smile spreading over his lips as one did hers. It was hard to believe what had just happened between them, their minds still not entirely registering their actions though their bodies had grown increasingly tired.

---

Skye lay snuggled up against Damien's side, her cheek resting to his chest with one of her legs intertwined with his. Over her upper-body, she had put on Damien's work shirt, the buttons, all but one, remained undone. Her breathing was now slow, calm once more as her eyes closed, dreams filtering through her slumbering form. Damien's eyes remained open, not yet captured by the realms of sleep as Skye had been. His mind was filled with emotions, most as a result of the girl lying beside him. He'd never loved anyone like this, not to such a strong degree. Really, he'd never experienced feeling like this, not until her.

With her, he was free from that inner influence, but it wasn't just that. She was so special to him for so many other reasons. There was just.. so much about her that he loved. Her kind nature and loving smiles, her unpredictability. Damien certainly hadn't been expecting what had happened that evening to happen. He hadn't even realised that she was going to be in his dorm that evening - just waiting in the moonlight. A smile tugged on the corner of his lips, a sort of lop-sided grin that usually graced his features when he was around her, as he thought of how amazing she had looking sitting there. The male sighed contently before lightly kissing the top of Skye's head, his fingertips lightly running through her hair and then down to her waist, drawing her closer to his side as he allowed his eyes to close, allowing sleep to slowly engulf him.