Today is still in front of us

It was rare for the young male to shed tears or to allow his emotions to control his body and his actions. But recently, it had slowly became harder to control these things that kept invading the lad’s mind. Jerry preferred to think of himself as the strong one and the most dependable of his family, even though he was the one that wasn’t around as often as he probably could have been but this was due to school and the part-time job that he was trying to maintain. The time just all added up which left him less and less chances to visit his family and to check on how his father was getting along.

But he was always a phone call away, however, today he would have preferred not to get the phone call that he did.

It wasn’t that he would have preferred not to be told of what was going on, he would rather know about it rather than be kept in the dark and left completely unaware of the things that the rest of his family were going through. However, he would have been happy if he had never got the phone call and that nothing had happened to cause any need to actually call him. Yes, it certainly wasn’t the sort of news that a teenage boy needed to hear in the middle of the week when school was already leaving him frustrated in the evenings with the tonnes of homework that was slowly piling up on his desk.

Jerry’s school shoes lightly clicked against the floor tiles of the hospital corridor, the sounds echoing throughout the seemingly-never-ending stretch between the reception and his destination. He was relatively well known to a few of the nurses and doctors around this particular ward as he was frequently visiting whenever he got the time. His father was usually asleep so he would chat to anyone he could get his hands on about his condition and check that there wasn’t anything that they were missing, even though he knew nothing of how to cure illnesses, especially the one that his father had. The male always felt helpless. For the past two years, he had been the rock that held his family together but he just wasn’t able to stop what was causing so much pain. It was out of his hands and he would never be able to change that.

After a few more minutes of walking, as well as exchanging a few nods of greeting to a couple of the nurses that he knew, he came upon where his father lay asleep, a peaceful look resting upon his pale features. The older male’s wife and youngest son sat at his bedside, dark red marks staining their cheeks as their gaze remained fixed on the man lying in the bed. The woman’s fingers curled around the younger boy’s hand, holding onto it for dear life as if it was the only thing that was keeping her from collapsing from sheer exhaustion. However, a smile managed to pull at her lips as she noticed Jerry standing in the doorway. The woman almost instantly stood and rushed over to her eldest, her arms quickly wrapping around the boy who practically towered over her.

“Hey, Mum,” Jerry said softly, his own arms wrapping around what was left of the woman as the previous healthy weight that she had obtained over her life had simply fallen from her over the past two years. It was a sad sight to see, such a lovely and usually happy family in such a distraught state. But it couldn’t be helped. Jamie remained seated in his chair, watching his mother and older brother share a long embrace. He looked just like Jerry, apart from the fact that he wasn’t as clean-shaven. Instead, he had a short stubble starting to form due to the lack of motivation to shave. His cheeks were a bright shade of red, caused more than likely from the continuous need to wipe his jacket sleeve over his eyes to hide the tears that were so obviously being held back. Jerry’s gaze shortly turned to his brother once his mum had drawn back.
“You alright, squirt?” he asked, managing to force a small smile in an attempt to lighten the difficult atmosphere that floated around the room. When all he received was a short nod, he walked over to him and gave him a hug, which was a rarity for Jerry to receive back but this time his brother held no reluctance in throwing his arms around him. Jamie had always been the one that found it harder to deal with the extremes of his emotions and it usually led him to do things rather out of character.

“How long have you both been here?” Jerry asked softly, making sure not to speak too loudly in case he woke his father from his drug induced sleep.
“About seven hours,” the younger male said, his tone sleepy. It was only ten in the morning so the two had been there since three ‘o’ clock.
“Why don’t you both go and get something to eat? I’ll stay with Dad in case he wakes up,” the older teenager suggested before sitting himself down beside his brother. He was acting so strong as if it wasn’t affecting him. He was the one that the others leaned on and if he crumbled…well, everything would just get worse. Jamie looked almost relieved at the suggestion of food as he quickly stood up, smiling at his brother before turning his gaze to his rather reluctant looking mother.
“Oh, I don’t know Jerry. What if he wakes up and we aren’t here?” she questioned, her face contorting to show a sense of reluctance and worry.
“Mum, I’ll be here and just think of what Dad would say. He wouldn’t be happy if he found out that you were starving yourself on his account. Go on,” Jerry reassured, shuffling his chair closer towards the hospital bed. No sooner had he said that, Jamie was practically forcing his mother out of the door, his stomach almost growling at the woman who was stopping it from getting it’s fill.

Once the other two were out of the door and on their way to the canteen, Jerry turned his gaze to his father, resting his arms lightly on the edge of the bed. No longer did he have to keep that strong exterior for the rest of the family as he sat there alone with the almost life-less body beside him.
“Hey Dad,” he said in a soft voice, fully aware of the fact that he probably wasn’t registering anything he was saying, or about to say. “You’ll be pleased to know that I managed to finish that essay that you kept asking me about. You know, the one about how alcohol and drugs can completely ruin a teenager’s chance at a good life. I remember when I was eight; you used to force me to read all those books about it. You wanted to make sure that I never got onto that rocky road.” Tears were slowly starting to become apparent in the boy’s eyes, his head hanging low as he couldn’t bare to look at his father in such a state but he managed to quickly regain his composure and looked back to him.

“You’d better not go anywhere. I dunno how I’d be able to look after Mum and Jamie with out you. Mum’d forget half of the stuff she needs to do and would end up getting in a right state. And Jamie, well, you know how much trouble he’d be, especially at his age.” Jerry laughed lightly as he said this, smiling softly whilst he spoke but his smile was short-lived.
“Dad, I can’t do this on my own…I just can’t. We need you so badly. Yo-You can’t just leave us like this. You just can’t.” The male stuttered mid-sentence as he almost choked on his words, tears welling up and trying to force themselves over his slowly reddening skin. He rested his cheek against the edge of the bed, his hand moving to curl around his father’s as a way of trying to reassure himself that he wasn’t going anywhere. Jerry’s eyes slowly closed, teardrops dripping over his cheeks and settling on the bed sheet that rested beneath his head. His grasp tightened on the hand beside his face, a small smile twitching on his face as he felt the older man’s grasp strengthen, his thumb lightly brushing against the teenager’s skin.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he croaked, eyes remaining closed whilst his son’s body shook beside him with the tears forcefully tumbling over his smooth skin, unable to get them to stop.